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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not all people enjoys being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought recording a clip now and then would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?